issue 19: rockin' around the Christmas tree
From the spooky to the heartwarming, here are some holiday picks.
Hello Substack fam!
I couldn’t leave you hanging for the holidays. Christmas movies are a special sub-genre because I think if you celebrate this holiday or just genuinely enjoy a good feel-good film, you already have a list that you return to year after year. Some personal favorites include classics like Gremlins, Nightmare Before Christmas, Love, Actually, Home Alone — the list goes on. Here are a few of the ones I love that may not already be on your list:
Serendipity (2001)
Where is John Cusack?! I miss him. Meanwhile, Kate Beckinsale can be found on her Instagram dressing up her animals in ridiculous outfits. (I’m pretty sure she’s hooked up with Pete Davidson, too. I will say, I loved her Amazon show The Widow if you’re looking for some mystery and action).
Serendipity, which turned 20 this year, is about a chance meeting between two people who just leave it up to fate whether or not they’ll be together. One of them writes their number in a book on a sidewalk cart and then puts it back. And henceforth the other always checks that book (Love in the Time of Cholera of all things) for the other’s number. Anyway, you can guess how it ends but I love any Christmas movie that takes place in New York. According to IMDb.com, available to stream on Hulu, Netflix, Epix, and Paramount+.
Mixed Nuts (1994)
This movie starts out with one of my favorite Christmas songs, “White Christmas” by The Drifters. Parker Posey and Jon Stewart play a rollerblading couple on a mission that to get their Christmas tree home and just can’t. And that’s just some of the shenanigans we follow around a few characters in L.A. It’s one of the few movies I still own on DVD. Now, I will warn you that some of this didn’t age well, namely Liev Schreiber’s casting but dammit if he’s not charming in this movie. It also stars the iconic Madeline Kahn, Steve Martin, Rita Wilson, Adam Sandler, and Juliette Lewis. It’s written and directed by rom-com queen Nora Ephron and it’s all over the place but it never fails to make me laugh in its manic-induced chaos. Only available to rent.
Krampus (2015)
I very distinctly remember going to the AMC at Lincoln Square to see this movie and loving every second of it. If you know anything about German fairytales, they’re a bit dark. So it only seems fitting that they have a dark side to Christmas as well. According to Britannica, the Krampus may have originated there but is recognized in several central European countries. It is a half-goat half-demon that punishes bad children at Christmas. So when you have a household of assholes with a German omi (grandmother), you better watch out. It’s got some Gremlins flavor and is, in my opinion, more funny than scary.
Rare Exports (2010)
In this Finnish Christmas horror film, Santa is not who you think he is. An archeological dig in the mountains unleashes havoc on a sleepy town and the children begin to disappear…. That is literally all I’ll tell you. Available to stream on Hulu and AMC+.
The Christmas Chronicles (2018)
If you didn’t catch this back in 2018, I highly recommend revisiting it. Basically two kids become Santa’s little helpers for the night and get into some hijinks. It’s a little cheesy but also insanely delightful and family friendly. And I’ll be the first to admit that Kurt Russell makes a hot Santa. (If you search, “Kurt Russell hot Santa” on Twitter, you will quickly learn I’m not alone). It also stars Lamorne Morris who is never not funny. Available to stream on Netflix.